Having already gone through one condensed class, Criminal Law, this summer, I feel like I should be better prepared for this semester. But a rather disappointing grade (which is a fine grade in law school-- that's not the issue. I thought I did better, so I'm disappointed in myself) has shown me that I have to be better, I have to push myself harder, but I have to balance that with my first priority- my daughter.
Professor Mahmud says that in order to balance our obligations, we have to be effective at time management. Absolutely. But he takes it one step further: he says that we have to know what we are supposed to be doing at any point in the day. I find this to be an impossibility. For example, as of right now, Madeline is sleeping and I have finished all I set out to do today. I don't know when she will wake up, and I have many options. I could start work for Wednesday, I could watch TV, I could take a nap, I could continue to write this post. Any of these options are efficient. Any of them would make me a more effective student and a more effective mother. Except maybe TV. But we all need to relax a bit, right?
This is my fundamental balancing act-- how to be the most effective law student while being the most effective mother. I can't be the best student. I can't be the best mother. But I have to find a way to maximize both while not letting the other slide. This is extremely difficult.
I've signed up with an attorney-mother mentoring program, and I'm hoping to find some tools in that arena that will help me. But for now, I have to learn to let go of my insane studentness and embrace more fully my mom-ness.
I find the not knowing the hardest! It can be so random. Sometimes, I could have watched a movie. At others, there's barely time to use the restroom. Ghaaa!
ReplyDeleteI know! Especially those times when you actually have more than an hour, but it's wasted because you're thinking, "any minute now, it will be over...."
ReplyDelete